Being a teenager is harder than walking through a balloon shop with a porcupine purse!
Dolly, Season 1

Don't worry, lollipop. You could always marry money.
Rico, Season 2

First, what the hecky is a herkey? Second, if one is called a pompom, does that make two of them pompompompoms? These are the questions that haunt me.
Lily, Season 1

Good thing you two are pretty.
Rico, Season 2

Hate makes you ugly. Oops! Too late!
Hannah, Season 2

He probably doesn't even know you're alive. You're like some dried up insect on the windshield of his life. Not even in the center. You’re way off to the side where the wipers don't reach.
Lily, Season 1

He's not just a guy. He's a ninth grader. I can't just put eighth grade moves on him.
Miley, Season 1

I do love you but like a brother or a pet fish. I’d cry if I had to flush you down the toilet but I don’t wanna kiss you.
Miley, Season 1

I have my eyes on you!
Roxie

I’m talking about my Goddaughter crushing over some boy harder than a monster truck driving over a little clown car.
Dolly, Season 1

If we were a movie you'd be the right guy and I'd be the best friend that you'd fall in love with. In the end we'd be laughing, watching the sunset, fade to black, show the names, play the happy song.
Miley, Season 1

If you're gonna be mean talk to the booty cuz the hand's off duty!
Dolly, Swason 2

It was as easy as finding a mullet at a trucker’s convention.
Miley

It's called a mullet. Business in the front, party in the back!
Miley, Season 1